You’ve already met our other boys – Camden and Aiden, but today I wanted to introduce you to the littlest member of our family – Quinn. My little man celebrated his sixth birthday this summer, and I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he’s such a big boy.
I don’t think he’ll ever comprehend how much of a gift he was to me in the darkest and loneliest hours of my life. I remember the night I found out that I was expecting him, those two little lines appearing before me. I cried, and they weren’t tears of joy. The dream that I had for our little family was falling apart, and I couldn’t pick up the pieces fast enough. I was married, but I felt so very alone.
Over the next few months, I would sing to him as he bounced around in my belly. I knew even before he was born that I had a wiggle worm on my hands. As I became used to the idea of having another little boy in the house, the connection with my baby grew. Just like his brothers before him, I knew that he was special. He was precious. He was mine, and he was loved.
As I was in labor, my ex-husband was in the next room watching a movie on his laptop. Hurt and embarrassed, I made even more excuses for him. Once again I found myself alone, and wishing that I had someone to hold my hand. Curled up in a ball, I silently reminded myself to breathe during contractions.
“Okay, Little Guy, it’s just you and me. Mommy loves you so much…”
The name Quinn means “Wise.” When they handed him to me, I knew his name was perfect. He looked like a wise little old man. Puffy cheeks, wrinkles, and his arms folded across his chest. Even from the very beginning, he watched everything so intensely. He absorbed life around him like a sponge.
I had complications after we came home from the hospital, and spent the first few weeks of his little life on bed rest before my doctor resorted to a D & C to stop my hemorrhaging. I was anemic and fragile while I recovered from the procedure, but my love for this tiny gift filled my heart to overflowing. My trio of little men was complete… My three sons.
He was the easiest, most relaxed baby I had ever seen. Content to sit and take in his surroundings, he was happily entertained by his two big brothers.
Quinn was only five months old when our family’s little world came crashing down around us, but he never stopped smiling. I would hold my sleeping baby late at night, and just breathe in the love and joy that radiated from his little face. We called him “Grinny Quinny,” and the name fit perfectly.
My littlest guy kept us all smiling and laughing during his whole first year!
A momma’s work is never done. This wiggle worm has kept me busy – even minutes from walking down the aisle to marry my Beloved! Quinn was only two years old when his buddy Mr. Joe embraced our little family and made us his own…
And he became Daddy Joe…
My little guy has grown so much, but it’s hard to realize that he isn’t a baby anymore. The six years of smiles, hugs, ornery giggles, his careful attention to detail, concern for others, dance moves in the grocery store, and twinkles in his eye have been the greatest gift that a mommy could ever wish for herself. He was a balm that helped to mend my broken heart.
I think back to that day in the delivery room – when I didn’t have a hand to hold – and I am forever grateful for all of the loving arms that surround me today. My cup truly runneth over. I don’t know what I would have done without the love and laughter these three little men and my Beloved have given me over the years – but I do know that I am the luckiest girl in the whole world!
Photo Credit: Photos 2-7 were taken by the lovely and wildly talented Joanne Funk – of NZ Portraits by Joanne.
Today I am excited to be guest posting at Cara Meredith's lovely blog! We have become blogging buddies, and I...