“Mommy, I like it when you sing that song.”
I didn’t realize how often I had been singing it until he mentioned it the other day. Lately, it seems as if this song has been playing on a loop in my mind.
Have you ever felt like you were being asked to walk out into the great unknown? A new chapter in your life, circumstances out of your control, setting out to accomplish something on your Someday List…It looks so scary out there. Who knows what storms might strike when you’re away from the safety of the shore. Did you see those waves? They’re getting bigger. And those jagged rocks look dangerous. What about the things that we can’t see? The water stretches on and on for miles, with no end in sight.
As scary as it is to step out onto those waters, as vulnerable as you feel as you wade into your new journey – doesn’t it feel a little bit good, too? Just think about it. Do you feel that? That warm glow deep down in your heart – the one that helps you put one foot in front of the other as the waves continue to crash around you – that’s joy, my friend. Unexplainable, undeniable, and unsinkable joy. It’s the joy that tells you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be in that moment, and that you are not alone.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire, you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.” ~ Isaiah 43:2
I’ve been here before, and I am finding myself here again.
Arriving in Russia at the age of 17 with no friends and no clue how the year of living in an orphanage would impact my life. I was right where I was supposed to be.
Dismissing my first request for divorce and working tirelessly for 6 months to heal my broken and dying marriage. As scary as it was to open myself up to hurt again, I knew that it was exactly what I needed to do.
When the end came, I knew beyond all shadow of doubt that it was time to say goodbye and embark on my new life as a single mom. I was 28 years old, and I had three precious little faces looking up at me. I had no idea where my journey to healing would take me, and I was frightened of the unknown for my little family, yet there was a peace that guided me the whole way.
I began writing and sharing this blog in the hopes that if I could help or inspire even one person, that it would all be worth it. I have heard so many encouraging things from you – those who are going through similar situations in their lives and are glad to know that they are not alone, women who want to know if I have any advice as they navigate these treacherous waters, and those who are joining me in taking better care of ourselves in the same way that we care for others.
I can sense that there is more that I need to share….that I’m being asked to share. And it’s scary. There are other things from my past that are coming to the surface. There are situations that go on in our lives that no one talks about, and that makes us feel so isolated – so very alone. I want to continue shining a light on those hidden areas and to let you know that you really are not alone.
Writing and sharing my heart has been me walking out onto the waves, and I appreciate every single one of you that has come on this journey with me.
It’s scary, in a good way. I know as I step further out into the great unknown, that I am exactly where I am supposed to be – and that fills me with joy.
My cup runneth over.
* The photo is courtesy of my Beloved. It was taken near gorgeous Monterey, California.
Happy Monday! How was your week? Were you able to take a little time to care for yourself? I know...