When life is just too much ~ Say Goodbye to Survival Mode

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode (Book Recommendation) - justoneoftheboys.com

“Ugh. Let me tell you about my nightmare of a week.”

“I am so behind right now. I don’t think I’ll ever feel caught up.”

“Life has been so busy lately. I don’t know how much longer I can cope.”

“I feel like giving up…”

“I’m just so tired.”

survival mode

Cries for help. I hear it echo in my own heart and in the voices of those exhausted women around me. There are seasons when life doesn’t let up, where I have felt as though I was just trying to hold on. I didn’t know how to break free of the survival mode that had become my life preserver – barely keeping me afloat as I tried to keep it all together.

I was beyond thrilled to hear that my childhood friend Crystal Paine, you may know her as Money Saving Mom, was writing a book that confronted this epidemic. When I learned that she was offering readers a chance to view an advanced copy, I jumped at the opportunity to learn more about how I could leave behind my stress and exhaustion, and reawaken my zeal for life. I was lucky enough to be one of the readers randomly chosen to be part of her book’s launch team…and I couldn’t wait to share with you what I have learned. Say Goodbye to Survival Mode is a work of love. It’s the unveiled and honest story of Crystal’s journey, and her simple tips to “stress less, sleep more, and restore your passion for life.”

~ You don’t have to do it all ~

One of the points in her book that most resonated in my heart is that I can give myself permission to stop trying to do it all. The dangerous cycle of taking on more than I can carry, telling myself that I will be okay, and telling others that I’m fine has to stop. I’m already a perfectionist by nature, so by trying to do it all, nothing ends up being perfect. When I hold on to the expectations that I have set for myself – of being Supermom – I’m setting myself up for certain failure and the overwhelming feeling that I am not enough. I learned from Crystal’s own discovery – that she was her own problem, but she also held the keys to her freedom. By re-evaluating my priorities, setting smart goals, and learning to say no, I can be a better wife, mom, and friend. And that is freedom.

~ Sometimes it really is about you ~

Can I tell you something? I have lived my whole life believing that nothing was about me. This was earth-shattering for my weary, eager to please heart. What do you mean that something is all about me? It can’t be. My life is about other people – my kids, my friends, my spouse. If I’m being brutally honest, it’s almost as if my busyness is a badge of honor – I’m too busy to take care of myself. I have too much to do to go to bed before midnight. There’s just too much on my plate to find time for me.

Somewhere along my life’s journey, I grasped on to the lie that it is wrong to care for myself, and something tells me that I’m not the only one who has felt this way. Maybe we have viewed it as vanity. Or being full of ourselves. Or misplaced priorities. On the list of things that I needed to do and the people that I needed to care for, adding my own name had never even occurred to me. Reading Crystal’s chapter on taking care of yourself jogged my memory…

My mother-in-law once told me something that, sadly, I have never followed…but that ends now. She told me that I am a good mom, but that it is time for me to mother myself in the same way that I mother my children. I care so deeply and tirelessly for them – but I now I need to care for myself, too. Wow.

Could this explain my unrelenting exhaustion? The dark circles around my eyes? The reason that I went for long spells without cracking a single book? Is this why I felt so parched, as if I had given and given to everyone around me, but had not bothered with pouring love and energy into myself? No wonder. I was suffering from burnout, and this book could not have come at a better time. I am using this year to live my life on purpose. In order to do that, I must start taking better care of me for once – for my precious boys, for my Beloved, and for myself.

If you are looking at 2014 as the year to finally pull yourself out of survival mode, I’m telling you this book will point you in the right direction. Crystal’s book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, is available tomorrow, January 21, 2014. I read the advance e-copy of her book in November, but my preordered copy should arrive on my doorstep Tuesday afternoon. I can’t wait to dig in again, highlight areas that I want to remember, and pass it along to friends!

To learn more about her book, or to get your very own copy, MoneySavingMom.com has all of the details.

Here’s to a brave and healthier 2014!







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Written by ginger


  • This post could be describing my life the last two weeks! I feel like I’ve been going non-stop since school started after the holidays and it wasn’t until the end of the last week that I put the pieces together and realized that I was close to burnout. I was trying to do too much and the tasks that I was dropping to compensate were all the things I did to take care of myself…a vicious cycle! I’m watching my friends go through the same thing and it feels like an epidemic. They call it the “tired thirties” for a reason! This looks like a fabulous (and very timely for me!) read.

    • ginger says:

      Oh Moira – You’re right, I see this in myself and in my friends. It does feel like an epidemic! I am so sorry that you have been feeling close to burnout. I know exactly how that feels. *hug* I honestly loved this book so much – and I hope that you will get it and learn as much as I did! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts! Hoping that you have a better week!

  • Wow, what a ringing endorsement of this book! I’ve been struggling with trying to be supermom vs taking care of myself lately, too. Somehow I’d managed to go MONTHS without getting together with friends (or doing anything on my own), and honestly I hadn’t even noticed. I’ve just been getting grumpier and more stressed out with the kids and my husband, without knowing why. Sigh… it just doesn’t seem like life should be so hard!

    • ginger says:

      Sarah, I really can’t recommend it enough. I love her easy tips on how to crawl out of this slump! Isn’t it sad how this creeps up on a mom? It’s not a sudden change – but gradual until one day you wake up and realize just how bad it has become – or maybe that’s just me. 🙂 I’m praying for you – hoping that you can take some time to focus on you! *hugs*

  • LOVE Money Saving Mom, so thanks for this review of her book!

    I have SUCH a hard time saying no and wanting to be a people pleaser. Self care is a huge priority for me this year, even if it means saying no sometimes.

    • ginger says:

      Yay!!! I’m so glad that you enjoyed my review of her book! I feel the same way – I have such a hard time saying no – and I’m also a recovering people pleaser! I’m right there with you – making care for myself a priority this year. I am so happy that you stopped by! Thank you so much for your encouragement – I loved hearing from you! *hugs*

  • […] Your Passion for Life, by Crystal Paine – Friends, this is the must-read book of 2014. I wrote more about this lifesaver of a book earlier this month, and I am excited to implement even more of Crystal’s helpful tips into my […]

  • […] My mother-in-law once told me something that, sadly, I have never followed…but that ends now. She told me that I am a good mom, but that it is time for me to mother myself in the same way that I mother my children. I care so deeply and tirelessly for them – but I now I need to care for myself, too. Wow.”  ~ From my post When Life is Just Too Much ~ Say Goodbye to Survival Mode […]

  • […] Goodbye to Survival Mode, by Crystal Paine – I know that I’ve raved about this before, but I can’t NOT include this book on my list of favorite things. When my friend Crystal […]

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I’m Ginger ~

I'm a wife to my Beloved, mom of three boys, bookworm, survivor of a broken heart, and Kansas Girl. It is my desire to encourage you. No matter what storm you're going through right now, you are not alone. I promise.

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