In Her Shoes is a series written by readers to give us a glimpse into their lives – what it is like to walk in their shoes. I am honored to share with you a guest post written by my friend, Becky Ogg. Her journey toward finding forgiveness has taken her down many roads and back again, and I am so grateful that she is willing to tell us about her story. Let’s join our friend as she shares with us what it is like to be in her shoes. ~ G
Whore. Slut. Adulteress.
Ugly words, aren’t they? And as much as I wanted to hide the truth from myself, there I was: a woman who had cheated on her husband, a woman who had willingly left everyone and everything, husband and children and grandchildren, church and home, desperately searching for all that was missing in my heart, in my life. How had I become one of those “…silly women, laden with sin, led away with divers lusts, ever learning and (yet) never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:6-7)?
In retrospect the answer is pretty easy: I wanted to be wanted. The desire to be adored, to be sought out and pursued, to be the object of someone’s passion, overcame everything else. Oh, there were certainly things in my life that increased my vulnerability to sin. Insecurity? Check. Unhappy marriage? Check. Family issues? Check. Financial troubles? Check. But try as I might to justify my actions, sin is sin, and the responsibility for my choices sets squarely on my shoulders. I was a Christian and truly did love God. The sad truth is that I loved myself more, and after 20 years of marriage, four children, and two grandchildren, I walked out the door to begin a new life as far removed from the old one as I could manage.
It took seven years. Seven years during which my ex-husband and I both married other people and moved on; seven years during which God quietly worked away in our hearts and spirits, planting tiny seeds of hope and love, renewal, grace, and forgiveness, nurturing them and bringing them to fruition. Seven years until God decided it was time to reopen the doors of communication between my ex-husband and myself, using our youngest child being injured in combat as the conduit. Five months later we were remarried.
It’s been nine years now and God is still working in our lives, mending the hurts of the past and binding our hearts closer together and nearer to His with each day. It isn’t always easy, but our marriage is worth it. We joke that we’re going to leave this earthly life at the same time; however, the truth is that I hope we do. Just as I once couldn’t imagine spending another day with him, now the thought that I might have to go through life without him by my side is one that brings me to tears. Only God could take something that once was so ugly and broken and turn it into something beautiful and strong and worth walking through the flames for.
“Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Whore. Child of God.
Thank you so much, Becky, for sharing your story with us. Your journey from heartbreak to redemption is truly inspiring, and I pray that it will ignite the spark of hope in the hearts of our friends reading it today.
To read more stories, or if you would are interested in sharing your story, please go to the In Her Shoes tab near the top of the page. I love learning about the people in this series. Connecting with others seems to make the world feel not quite as big and scary. We’re all in this together. I can’t wait to hear from you, to read your stories, and learn more of what it is like to walk in your shoes. ~ Love, G
Have y'all seen the new thing going around Facebook recently, where you you list several things that others might not...